Friday, December 28, 2007

random update

Well, it took two and a half months, but I finally finished the first draft of my screenplay...and my film director friend didn't hate it. Yay!! I am trying to fight the urge to read it again because I change something every time I read it. I want to hear his official feedback before I go rewriting the thing.

In other news, I decided to get sick two days before we leave town to go to the Alamo Bowl. So I'm all doped up on cold medicine. Plus my arm is still sore from giving blood a week ago. Apparently the phlebotomist had depth perception issues and went straight through my vein, so I have a bruise on my elbow the size of Kentucky. It feels like I spent the day doing curls with my left arm. Can you tell I'm whiny today? Yes, poor me. My life is terrible.

Anywho, I think it's going to be a good weekend despite my ailments. I get to leave work early today to go to San Antonio with fun people and stay in a cool hotel and watch the Aggies win a bowl game. Hey, there's a first time for everything.

Monday, December 17, 2007

idiosyncrasies

For some reason, I get really bothered by idiosyncrasies. I realize that I'm more perceptive than some; that comes in handy when you're a writer. But I think I tend to take it to another level.

While working on my laptop at a coffee shop this weekend, I was sitting next to an older guy who was about to drive me out of my mind. While most people might be able to tune him out, I was aware of how heavy he was breathing, how he made a random humming sound once every 15 seconds, and how every time he took a sip of his coffee, he said "Ahhhh!" as if it was the most refreshing sip of coffee he had ever experienced. When he finally packed up and left, I got some peace of mind...that is until a gum-popping girl started chatting with the guy behind the counter and, like, used the word like, like, every other, like, word.

This hyper-sensitivity isn't limited to coffee shops. I am annoyed at work on a regular basis. There's one coworker who clears his throat every 30 seconds, one whose ring tone is the same as mine, three who laugh like hyenas, and four whose phone voice is so loud that they might as well come sit in my office while they have the conversation.

Geez I haven't even touched word pronunciation and obnoxious phrases yet. I'll spare you that, but just know to never use the phrase "let me pick your brain" in my presence.

Yes, I realize I have a problem.

Friday, December 14, 2007

aging

I'm confused. I know I'm not fat - in fact I just lost 10 pounds. I'm not old - even though it feels that way when you live in a college town. Plus I wear sunscreen every day. So why do I suddenly have loose skin hanging under my chin? When did that appear and why? Now I'm absently messing with it while I stare at my computer screen all day - as if that's going to help. I'm probably stretching it out more. Am I doomed to have a skinny neck and a shar pei chin?

My mom has been doing these facial exercises she learned from Jack LaLanne about 40 years ago, and she's done them ever since. Clearly they work because she looks 10 to 15 years younger than she is. But because you apparently look like a moron when you do them, she never will teach them to me! I'm about to have to find some old school Jack LaLanne videos on YouTube or something.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

'tis the season

Can someone tell me when Christmas started being a month long? Don't get me wrong - Christmas is my favorite time of year, but I don't remember it always being so stressful. I guess as you get older, you allow yourself to get caught up in the trivial obligations of Christmas.

First, there's the Christmas card debacle. The first step is actually remembering to send them out. (This may sound like a no-brainer, but last year I didn't remember until the 22nd.) Then you have to pore over your Christmas card list to make sure you don't leave anyone out. Finally, you'll inevitably receive a Christmas card from someone you either forgot or didn't think you were good enough friends with to send one to in the first place, so you have to scramble to send one back to them so that they won't realize you forgot them.

Then, there are the parties. I don't want to sound ungrateful for being invited to so many, but with each Christmas party invite comes another compulsion to cook or bake something. And with so many of those parties starting around 6:30 or 7:00, and me not getting off work until 5:30, bringing something that didn't come from Kroger's bakery gets to be more and more difficult. That's when bringing a bottle of wine comes in handy. Everyone likes the person who brings a good bottle of wine.

Finally, there are the gifts. When the people on your gift list are as generous as the people on mine -- and as hard to shop for -- trying to keep up is a challenge. I have always been good at saying exactly what I want; however the people on my gift list prefer to use the "I don't want anything" line on me. So I have to rack my brain to come up with good gifts they will enjoy. I don't always succeed. I can't tell you how many times mom has received toiletries, dad has received books, and hubby has received clothes he never wears.

It usually isn't until Christmas Eve that I sit down and reflect on what this holiday is actually about. So maybe it's a good thing Christmas lasts a month long after all. I get all of the trivial crap out of the way early so I can think about what's important.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

magazines

Sometimes when I need an escape, I sit in Barnes & Noble or Hastings and just read magazines. It takes me places.
I am looking at pictures of my dream home in Architectural Digest or Domino, planning my wardrobe in InStyle, or envisioning my perfect dinner party in Vogue or Southern Living. In my mind, I'm wearing Badgley Mischka in my tastefully-decorated mid-century modern home playing the perfect hostess to all of my friends at a fabulous party with exquisite decorations and amazing food that I made myself.
Sure it's highly unrealistic, but it's fun to daydream. I mean really - that Chanel cuff would look so good on me.

Friday, November 30, 2007

writing

"Writing is easy. All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead."
~ Gene Fowler

Truer words were never spoken. I am still working on that gosh darn screenplay. I have the story up in my head, but it won't come out the right way. I have written and erased about three drafts at this point.

I think I finally have an idea of the best way to go about this, but I still haven't attempted it yet. I have put an enormous amount of pressure on myself with this story because A) this is my dream and I don't want to blow it and B) this story is dedicated to my grandmothers and the horrible disease that is Alzheimer's. I want to make sure I am accurate and show what this disease does to people in a very real way.

I think I'm on the verge, but in the meantime, there are drops of blood all over my forehead.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

memories

Today seemed like an ordinary day until I saw the date on my cell phone. Every time I see that date, it sticks out at me like a sore thumb. Eight years ago today, everything changed for anyone who is an Aggie. Bonfire collapsed.
I still remember that day vividly. I had just turned twenty. I was a sophomore majoring in my new boyfriend who is now hubby. He was on hiatus from the Corps of Cadets because he had to work full time that semester. He had still planned to help build Bonfire, but couldn't find his pot that night. That turned out to be a blessing because, had he been out there, who knows what could've happened. One of his fish died that night, and another was seriously injured.
I still remember the phone ringing at about 6:30 that morning. My dad sounded so relieved to hear my cranky voice. When he told me that Bonfire collapsed, my initial reaction was "So? That has happened before. They still have time to build it back before it burns. Why are you calling me so dang early?"
It wasn't until I got up and turned on the TV that I realized the weight of the situation. People were actually dying under that stack as the cameras were rolling. The phone calls kept coming all morning. Hubby's mom called, best friend called, everyone wanted to know if we were alive. I had a test in psychology that morning, and I was trying to study. I had the news on and they were reporting updated lists of the injured and dead. As you might imagine, I wasn't concentrating very well.
I still made it to my class that morning only to find that the test had been mercifully postponed, so I went to the MSC to see what else I could find out. Media were everywhere sticking cameras and microphones in students' faces. Everyone was walking around in a daze. Campus was silent. In the flag room, a woman would periodically announce the updated list of dead and injured. It was very surreal.
Flyers were being posted advertising that Breakaway Ministries was planning a prayer meeting next to Rudder Fountain that afternoon. When hubby and I arrived, there was a sea of students waiting to pray. When Greg Matte began the meeting, the crowd hardly moved. The only noise was coming from the helicopters filming us overhead. He thanked everyone for coming. He tried giving some words of comfort to his grieving audience, but what can you say really? Just before we broke into groups to pray, he announced that he had just received word that three more students had died bringing the total to six. It was unthinkable. Six people!
That night, there was a service held at Reed Arena. The bodies were so packed in there that people were sitting in the aisles. The student body president of UT came and told us how his campus felt for us. Then, before the service was over, the crowd spotaneously began to put their arms around each other and sing "Spirit of Aggieland".
At the close of that bewildering day, just before I turned the news off, the total number of students who died had turned into ten. I felt so angry and helpless. Students just kept dying as the EMTs and volunteers were trying to move those massive logs and there was nothing that could be done.
Before it was all said and done, the total of students who died was twelve. A cruel irony considering the significance of that number to our school's history. Current students probably never attended an original Aggie Bonfire. The seniors would've only been 14 when it collapsed. They may still try to conduct their own off campus Bonfire, but the feelings of cameraderie, pride and tradition can't be duplicated - especially when they are charging admission.
It's the end of an era. And I think the things I saw and the feelings I felt that day will continue to haunt me for years to come.