wrestling

Yesterday, the sermon was about wrestling with God (Genesis 18). Not wrestling in the physical sense; it's when your prayers basically boil down to one word: "why?" That hit close to home with me.

In the last year, there have been a lot of those one-word prayers for me - more than at any other time in my life. Sometimes you think you've done everything right, and everything still goes wrong. Life just keep lobbing curve balls at you. When that happens, it's easy to just shake your fist at God and say "why?".

But if there's one thing I have learned from feeling that way, it's that when I hand it all over to Him, not only do things start to work out but I get a feeling of peace. I'm not stressing out as much. There aren't clumps of hair clogging my drain. My skin isn't breaking out. Someone can do something that would normally make me come unglued. Instead, I shake it off.

I'd love to be able to say that I do that all the time, but the fact is, it usually takes me having a meltdown before I tell God to take over. You'd think I would have learned by now.