Friday, December 28, 2007

random update

Well, it took two and a half months, but I finally finished the first draft of my screenplay...and my film director friend didn't hate it. Yay!! I am trying to fight the urge to read it again because I change something every time I read it. I want to hear his official feedback before I go rewriting the thing.

In other news, I decided to get sick two days before we leave town to go to the Alamo Bowl. So I'm all doped up on cold medicine. Plus my arm is still sore from giving blood a week ago. Apparently the phlebotomist had depth perception issues and went straight through my vein, so I have a bruise on my elbow the size of Kentucky. It feels like I spent the day doing curls with my left arm. Can you tell I'm whiny today? Yes, poor me. My life is terrible.

Anywho, I think it's going to be a good weekend despite my ailments. I get to leave work early today to go to San Antonio with fun people and stay in a cool hotel and watch the Aggies win a bowl game. Hey, there's a first time for everything.

Monday, December 17, 2007


For some reason, I get really bothered by idiosyncrasies. I realize that I'm more perceptive than some; that comes in handy when you're a writer. But I think I tend to take it to another level.

While working on my laptop at a coffee shop this weekend, I was sitting next to an older guy who was about to drive me out of my mind. While most people might be able to tune him out, I was aware of how heavy he was breathing, how he made a random humming sound once every 15 seconds, and how every time he took a sip of his coffee, he said "Ahhhh!" as if it was the most refreshing sip of coffee he had ever experienced. When he finally packed up and left, I got some peace of mind...that is until a gum-popping girl started chatting with the guy behind the counter and, like, used the word like, like, every other, like, word.

This hyper-sensitivity isn't limited to coffee shops. I am annoyed at work on a regular basis. There's one coworker who clears his throat every 30 seconds, one whose ring tone is the same as mine, three who laugh like hyenas, and four whose phone voice is so loud that they might as well come sit in my office while they have the conversation.

Geez I haven't even touched word pronunciation and obnoxious phrases yet. I'll spare you that, but just know to never use the phrase "let me pick your brain" in my presence.

Yes, I realize I have a problem.

Friday, December 14, 2007


I'm confused. I know I'm not fat - in fact I just lost 10 pounds. I'm not old - even though it feels that way when you live in a college town. Plus I wear sunscreen every day. So why do I suddenly have loose skin hanging under my chin? When did that appear and why? Now I'm absently messing with it while I stare at my computer screen all day - as if that's going to help. I'm probably stretching it out more. Am I doomed to have a skinny neck and a shar pei chin?

My mom has been doing these facial exercises she learned from Jack LaLanne about 40 years ago, and she's done them ever since. Clearly they work because she looks 10 to 15 years younger than she is. But because you apparently look like a moron when you do them, she never will teach them to me! I'm about to have to find some old school Jack LaLanne videos on YouTube or something.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

'tis the season

Can someone tell me when Christmas started being a month long? Don't get me wrong - Christmas is my favorite time of year, but I don't remember it always being so stressful. I guess as you get older, you allow yourself to get caught up in the trivial obligations of Christmas.

First, there's the Christmas card debacle. The first step is actually remembering to send them out. (This may sound like a no-brainer, but last year I didn't remember until the 22nd.) Then you have to pore over your Christmas card list to make sure you don't leave anyone out. Finally, you'll inevitably receive a Christmas card from someone you either forgot or didn't think you were good enough friends with to send one to in the first place, so you have to scramble to send one back to them so that they won't realize you forgot them.

Then, there are the parties. I don't want to sound ungrateful for being invited to so many, but with each Christmas party invite comes another compulsion to cook or bake something. And with so many of those parties starting around 6:30 or 7:00, and me not getting off work until 5:30, bringing something that didn't come from Kroger's bakery gets to be more and more difficult. That's when bringing a bottle of wine comes in handy. Everyone likes the person who brings a good bottle of wine.

Finally, there are the gifts. When the people on your gift list are as generous as the people on mine -- and as hard to shop for -- trying to keep up is a challenge. I have always been good at saying exactly what I want; however the people on my gift list prefer to use the "I don't want anything" line on me. So I have to rack my brain to come up with good gifts they will enjoy. I don't always succeed. I can't tell you how many times mom has received toiletries, dad has received books, and hubby has received clothes he never wears.

It usually isn't until Christmas Eve that I sit down and reflect on what this holiday is actually about. So maybe it's a good thing Christmas lasts a month long after all. I get all of the trivial crap out of the way early so I can think about what's important.

Saturday, December 1, 2007


Sometimes when I need an escape, I sit in Barnes & Noble or Hastings and just read magazines. It takes me places.
I am looking at pictures of my dream home in Architectural Digest or Domino, planning my wardrobe in InStyle, or envisioning my perfect dinner party in Vogue or Southern Living. In my mind, I'm wearing Badgley Mischka in my tastefully-decorated mid-century modern home playing the perfect hostess to all of my friends at a fabulous party with exquisite decorations and amazing food that I made myself.
Sure it's highly unrealistic, but it's fun to daydream. I mean really - that Chanel cuff would look so good on me.

Friday, November 30, 2007


"Writing is easy. All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead."
~ Gene Fowler

Truer words were never spoken. I am still working on that gosh darn screenplay. I have the story up in my head, but it won't come out the right way. I have written and erased about three drafts at this point.

I think I finally have an idea of the best way to go about this, but I still haven't attempted it yet. I have put an enormous amount of pressure on myself with this story because A) this is my dream and I don't want to blow it and B) this story is dedicated to my grandmothers and the horrible disease that is Alzheimer's. I want to make sure I am accurate and show what this disease does to people in a very real way.

I think I'm on the verge, but in the meantime, there are drops of blood all over my forehead.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


Today seemed like an ordinary day until I saw the date on my cell phone. Every time I see that date, it sticks out at me like a sore thumb. Eight years ago today, everything changed for anyone who is an Aggie. Bonfire collapsed.
I still remember that day vividly. I had just turned twenty. I was a sophomore majoring in my new boyfriend who is now hubby. He was on hiatus from the Corps of Cadets because he had to work full time that semester. He had still planned to help build Bonfire, but couldn't find his pot that night. That turned out to be a blessing because, had he been out there, who knows what could've happened. One of his fish died that night, and another was seriously injured.
I still remember the phone ringing at about 6:30 that morning. My dad sounded so relieved to hear my cranky voice. When he told me that Bonfire collapsed, my initial reaction was "So? That has happened before. They still have time to build it back before it burns. Why are you calling me so dang early?"
It wasn't until I got up and turned on the TV that I realized the weight of the situation. People were actually dying under that stack as the cameras were rolling. The phone calls kept coming all morning. Hubby's mom called, best friend called, everyone wanted to know if we were alive. I had a test in psychology that morning, and I was trying to study. I had the news on and they were reporting updated lists of the injured and dead. As you might imagine, I wasn't concentrating very well.
I still made it to my class that morning only to find that the test had been mercifully postponed, so I went to the MSC to see what else I could find out. Media were everywhere sticking cameras and microphones in students' faces. Everyone was walking around in a daze. Campus was silent. In the flag room, a woman would periodically announce the updated list of dead and injured. It was very surreal.
Flyers were being posted advertising that Breakaway Ministries was planning a prayer meeting next to Rudder Fountain that afternoon. When hubby and I arrived, there was a sea of students waiting to pray. When Greg Matte began the meeting, the crowd hardly moved. The only noise was coming from the helicopters filming us overhead. He thanked everyone for coming. He tried giving some words of comfort to his grieving audience, but what can you say really? Just before we broke into groups to pray, he announced that he had just received word that three more students had died bringing the total to six. It was unthinkable. Six people!
That night, there was a service held at Reed Arena. The bodies were so packed in there that people were sitting in the aisles. The student body president of UT came and told us how his campus felt for us. Then, before the service was over, the crowd spotaneously began to put their arms around each other and sing "Spirit of Aggieland".
At the close of that bewildering day, just before I turned the news off, the total number of students who died had turned into ten. I felt so angry and helpless. Students just kept dying as the EMTs and volunteers were trying to move those massive logs and there was nothing that could be done.
Before it was all said and done, the total of students who died was twelve. A cruel irony considering the significance of that number to our school's history. Current students probably never attended an original Aggie Bonfire. The seniors would've only been 14 when it collapsed. They may still try to conduct their own off campus Bonfire, but the feelings of cameraderie, pride and tradition can't be duplicated - especially when they are charging admission.
It's the end of an era. And I think the things I saw and the feelings I felt that day will continue to haunt me for years to come.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007


I probably shouldn't be writing a post today because I'm in a foul mood and shouldn't subject anyone else to it, but here goes.

Does anyone else ever feel like just getting in their car and driving away from their life for awhile? When things start to get ugly, my friend and I often joke about running away to Mexico together and having a Corona commercial moment where we ceremoniously throw our cell phones into the ocean. I'm in that kind of mood. In fact, if I had enough in the bank, I might be laying on the beach right now sans cell phone. But I know all of my problems would still be waiting for me when that plane touched back down.

Usually I am able to cope with my frustrations through prayer and hearing what God has to say. But lately I haven't been able to hear Him. The worse things get, the more I pray, and I'm still just as clueless as ever. Maybe I think that by getting away from all distractions, I could finally hear what He's saying to me.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


So today I turn 28. It's an interesting age. It's not much different than 27, but it seems much closer to 30. A friend of mine, who recently turned 28, called me this morning to wish me a happy birthday. He asked if I was happy about turning 28. Happy? That wasn't really the word I would use.

He pointed out that the one good thing about it was, as a professional, you're one year further from being considered the "kid" in the office. That I can agree with. I actually work with people younger than me now. Even Boss 1 is younger than me (even though he's deep in denial about it). It's hard to get people to take you seriously to begin with when you're a young woman. You have to work extra hard to prove your talent and earn respect. Being older helps the situation.

Other than that, I suppose another year of life experience is good. I've learned a lot in the past year, but there have been very tough lessons to learn. 27 kicked my butt, and I hope 28 is nicer to me.

Friday, October 26, 2007


Back in third grade, there was a girl I did everything with. After school, I'd go to her house and watch Punky Brewster and Beverly Hills Teens (yes, it's a real cartoon; look it up on YouTube). In fact, she may have been my first female best friend. She moved back to Mexico after that year, and we lost touch.

I never forgot about her, and I thought about her often. Then one day in college, I got an email asking if I went to X Elementary School in Y class. It was Melissa! She tracked me down! We did a lot of catching up and emailed back and forth a lot. We'd even talked about me coming to visit her in Mexico. Well, when I moved to another apartment that summer, I changed email addresses and forgot to take my address book with me. I lost her address!

Fast forward six years to this week. I had still thought about her over the years, and searched for her on MySpace and Facebook with no luck. I mean, for all I knew, she had gotten married and changed her name. Then I realized I hadn't done the simplest thing of all - I never Googled her! So that's just what I did. I came up with the lead singer of a rock band in Mexico. At first, I thought, "Nah, that couldn't be her. It's probably a stage name anyway." But the pictures looked like her, the town was the same town she had lived in six years ago, and when I saw her wearing an A&M hat, I knew it had to be her!

So I sent her a message asking what elementary school she went to. And I got back "HEEEEYYYY JENNIFER! I..M SO HAPPY TO READ YOU AGAIN, I..D SEARCHED ALL OVER THE INTERNET AND ALL I HAVE IS YOUR WEDDING PIC!!!!" Yay!!! I found her again and my former BFF is a rock star in Mexico! How cool is that??

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

little miss sunshine

So I was trying to fit in a quick phone interview for an article I'm writing for Second Job yesterday. I had been trying to get in touch with this company out of Houston that has been in charge of the redevelopment of a local strip center. After having my emails and phone calls ignored from the lady who calls herself the Leasing Representative, I decided to call the main Houston number and see what happened. What happened was that I was transferred to a lady apparently in charge corporate communications out of the New York City office. For the purposes of this blog, I will refer to her as Little Miss Sunshine. After playing phone tag a couple of times, here is the conversation that ensued:

Me: Hi. I was returning your call...

LMS: Yeah. Uh huh.

Me: I am writing a story about one of your properties, and I just wanted to ask you a few quick questions. Do you have time or should I email you?

LMS: No just do it now.

Me: How did your company get involved in the redevelopment of the center...

LMS: It's our center.

(Knowing that's not entirely true, I seek clarification.)

Me: So you're working together with--

(LMS interrupts)

LMS: No! It's OUR center!

Me: Oookay... What kind of improvements have been made during the redevelopment?

LMS: Kohl's is opening October 1st and Spec's is opening September 29th. (note: not only was my question about the architectural changes, not the stores, she's speaking about the past is if it were the future)

Me: So do you have anything else planned in the near future?

LMS: You already asked me that!!! We want to change our tenant mix.

(I wonder if she has a phone up to each ear and is actually having two different conversations simultaneously)

Me: Alrighty. What type of tenants are you looking to attract?

LMS: Just the ones who will fill up available space. You already asked me that!

(I swallow hard to keep from saying something nasty.)

Me: Do you have access to a site plan or rendering you can send to us?

LMS: It's on the website.

(note: On the website, there is a large banner that says SITE PLAN COMING SOON)

Me: Well thanks so much for your time.

LMS: *click*

You'd think a person in the corporate communications field would be required to have - I don't know - communication skills. After all, I am giving them free advertising in a newspaper that is distributed to the homes of all of their potential customers for that center. And, not to be nasty, but that shopping center has needed customers since the early 90s. I think I may have call the company back and point that out to Little Miss Sunshine's boss.

Friday, October 19, 2007


I have always been a huge nerd. Maybe I'm disillusioned, but I like to think I hide it fairly well.

In first and second grade, the kid I hung out with the most at lunch and recess was the smartest kid in class who enjoyed politics and shared my fascination for long, obscure vocabulary words. To this day, I think pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (which he taught me) is still the longest word I know. Last I heard, he went to Stanford.

It wasn't long before I realized that there weren't too many kids who could relate to someone who read the dictionary for fun. So, from middle school until high school, I decided to feign interest in boys, pop music, and the cast of 90210. When there was drama because one girl wore the same Girbaud shirt as another girl, I acted just as appalled as everyone else. With most of the guys I dated, I felt the need to dumb down because I got tired of bruising their egos with my big words.

Then I met this guy who, at first, appeared to be one of those guys I used to hate in high school: an arrogant jock. Then, slowly but surely, I found out he was a nerd in hiding as well. He wrote his first computer program at age five. He won a web design award in high school. He was even a mathlete! I gotta say - it kinda turned me on! As much as he would hate me for outing him even to this day (although I don't think it's a secret that he's brilliant), I think that, as opposite as we are, that is one thing that keeps us connected. We can revel in our nerdiness together.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

mental block

Guess what. STILL can't figure out the last four 8 counts to "Fever"...and I'm teaching it for the first time tomorrow. Yay. Fortunately, I'm only teaching it to someone who is going to help me teach it to everyone else, so if I screw up, it's not in front of everyone. After all, I'm not done choreographing, so I don't have the dance memorized yet. Eek!

Meanwhile, I'm working on three articles at the same time. One is almost ready to go...I've done the interview and taken notes...I just have to write it. I haven't done interviews for the other two yet. It's not for lack of trying; it's for lack of getting people to call me usual. The deadline for all three is two weeks from today, which is my birthday, and I'll be danged if I'm writing articles on my birthday!

In all of the chaos, guess what got put on the backburner once again - my screenplay. It may not be this week, but I am going to get that thing done if it kills me, which it might.

In other news, husband comes home today. It's been a little more than a week, so hopefully he's missed me a little.

Monday, October 15, 2007


So I've been trying to finish choreographing a dance to "Fever" by Peggy Lee for Jr. League Ball Follies.

The costume is sexy and the song is sexy, so I've had to make sure the dance is sexy too - without being too Britney-esque or too difficult. I'm going for more sassy and less Pussycat Doll
(i.e. Marilyn Monroe in "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"). But, to tell you the truth, this has been a really tough one to choreograph. I haven't had this many mental blocks in quite awhile. Guess I'm just not feeling sassy. Hard to believe, right?

Anywho, I am supposed to teach this dance starting this week. I've got a wide range of dancers in my group - from former dance instructors to people who only dance in their underwear when they're alone - so it's a little nerve-wracking. It would almost be easier if I could make this a hard dance - axle turns and all. Wouldn't that be interesting in heels?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

pipe dream

Since I was about 12, I've had this dream that one of my novels or short stories would be made into a movie. My story would be loved by millions, Oprah would induct the book into her sacred book club, I'd make the talk show circuit, Conan O'Brien and I would become BFF. But, as I became immersed in the real world, that dream seemed to be slipping further and further away. In fact, I hadn't even thought about it in awhile.

Then, out of nowhere, a friend of mine from high school wrote me a message on Facebook saying that, up until a few seconds ago, he never knew I wrote narrative. Turns out my film director friend is looking for a screenplay that will get him into Cannes. Reeeaaallly? So he asked to read some of my short stories. Unfortunately, those were lost in the great computer crash of 2003. So I told him about the one that still sticks out in my mind the most. Just so happens that story is just the kind he's looking for.

Sooo...looks like I'll be writing my first screenplay this weekend. I sure hope this goes somewhere.

Monday, October 8, 2007


Just got home from the launch party of the publication I write for for Second Job. I learned a long time ago that, if you stay until the end of a party, people try to send you home with leftover food and drinks because they don't want to deal with it. I've got lunch and dinner for the next two days! They even made me take a centerpiece with me. Now, in the altered state of my half-remodeled home, displaying a flower arrangement seems a bit like putting lipstick on a pig, but at least it adds a little color.


Hubby is leaving tomorrow for ten days. I guess it was a good thing that we had a long distance relationship for so long when we were dating because ten days doesn't seem so bad. After all, he used to live seven states away. But still, I miss him when he's gone. Even though I don't really see a whole lot of him when he's here, it still feels like something's really missing when he's away. The good thing is that I tend to be more productive and organized than usual when he's gone. Don't be surprised if my pantry is alphabetized by the time he gets back.

Friday, October 5, 2007


For some reason, I have been particularly whiny this week. For all my talk about handing things over to God, I should probably hand things over to God. I have a lot of frustrations going at once.

I took on Second Job so I could afford to keep First Job, but Second Job has yet to send me a check after the four articles I wrote. Meanwhile, First Job has entrusted me to come up with a stellar marketing package within 48 hours to help us close an enormously important deal (in addition to the other 10 projects I was juggling). While I should be jumping for joy at this opportunity (and deep down I am), I can't help but feel like I'm drinking from a fire hose.

Apparently, I'm not hiding it well. Boss 2 came in to ask me if I was unhappy. Both he and Boss 1 seem to worry that I'm going to leave at the drop of a hat. I assured him I like my job; I'm just overwhelmed. It made me realize I need to keep my emotions in check. I tend to think that by not talking about it, I'm doing that, but I just walk around looking angry - even if I'm just focused. I need to pray for some joy!

Sunday, September 30, 2007


Just got back from the conference last night. The theme this weekend was "Amazing Freedom", which was a theme that really spoke to me.

I feel so bound up by my life and my circumstances sometimes. It's like my hands are always tied. I'm constantly trying to change things in my life so that I don't have to rely on other people, and I can regain some sense of control. I think that's because I crave freedom so badly. I never quite thought of it in those terms, but that's what it boils down to.

But I learned this weekend that freedom does not come from the things around you; it comes from within. It comes from God. So even though my situation may not change the way I want it to, God gives me the freedom to let it all go and have peace. When people disappoint me or anger me or let me down, I can choose to be upset and throw a myself pity party, or I can hand it over and let Him deal with it.

Not letting the world control you...that is freedom.

Friday, September 28, 2007


I'm leaving town with mom and friend this afternoon for the Women of Faith Conference. Friend and I are in desperate need of a girl's weekend. We've been looking forward to this trip for months! Not only are we ready for some spiritual therapy, we are ready for some retail therapy too! Look out Highland Village!

Thursday, September 27, 2007


Last night at book club, we got on the subject of journals and writing down what you're thankful for. As much as I whine about my life, I thought that was a really good idea. After all, as nutty as it is, I have a pretty dang good life.

I complain about my squeaky, gas-guzzling SUV all the time. But it has never broken down (although the service engine light came on this morning, so that may change), it's only four years old, and it gets me where I'm going.

Although my house has been in half-remodeled limbo for a year (and I stood in Target staring at the Halloween decorations feeling sorry for myself the other night because I couldn't decorate for Halloween), at least I have a house! It doesn't even leak or have cracks in the foundation. And it's in a beautiful neighborhood. And even though our neighbors are snotty because they think we're renters, they're not trying to rob us or anything.

And what about my two jobs? I'm always complaining about how stressed I am because I have two jobs. But guess what - I have two jobs! And, in both cases, they sought me out because of my reputation and expertise. They wanted me and have bent over backwards to accommodate me. For the first several years out of college, I had to beg people to hire me. I need to remember that.

And then there's hubby. I'm crazy about hubby. And even if I don't always show it, I am thankful for him. Even though it's been a tough year and I don't see him much, he is working hard for the both of us. And guess what - on the list of things I wanted in a husband, ambition was one of them. So how can I complain about how ambitious he is? Would I rather have a husband that sits on the couch in his underwear eating cheese doodles and watching "Cops"? No. Plus, because of what I do in BOTH of my two jobs, I get to help him promote his business. So we help each other out.

So there you go. Just a few of the many things I have to be thankful for. Now maybe I should print this out and tape it to all the surfaces in my home, office, and car :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

the simple things

When your life is as busy as mine, you start to appreciate little things you used to take for granted.

For instance, last night I actually got to eat dinner with my husband...alone...facing each a restaurant. Then, I got to go to the grocery store! No wait; it gets better! I even got to go to the gym! And then...wait for it....paint my nails!! I almost had to pinch myself.

Hubby left this afternoon for a four day trip to go to some more nerd conferences. He always comes back recharged and in a good mood, so I guess I am okay with it :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

talk to me!!

You would think as someone gains experience, they would become better at something, right? Apparently not so! I have been writing articles and doing interviews for said articles for about six years now. And until I took on this freelance writing gig, I have never once had issues getting people to agree to an interview.

It would be one thing if they would just tell me they were busy from the get-go so that I could find someone else and be done with it. But no, they have to say something along the lines of "Well, I'm pretty busy this week, but let's meet at X time." Then they postpone or don't call back or tell you to email the questions and then never email you back. Do they do this to the other publications in town? I don't want to take this personally, but man! I am just trying to give them some free publicity, and you'd think I was scheduling them for a root canal!

Now don't get me wrong, some people have been great. They jump at the chance to be heard, and they give me as much information as possible. They've even been accommodating to my weird schedule (I can only do interviews around my lunch break and after 5:30 because of my regular job). But without the people who keep giving me the runaround, I can't FINISH the article and, therefore, I can't get PAID which is the whole reason I'm doing this!! Vicious circle.

Monday, September 24, 2007


Yesterday, the sermon was about wrestling with God (Genesis 18). Not wrestling in the physical sense; it's when your prayers basically boil down to one word: "why?" That hit close to home with me.

In the last year, there have been a lot of those one-word prayers for me - more than at any other time in my life. Sometimes you think you've done everything right, and everything still goes wrong. Life just keep lobbing curve balls at you. When that happens, it's easy to just shake your fist at God and say "why?".

But if there's one thing I have learned from feeling that way, it's that when I hand it all over to Him, not only do things start to work out but I get a feeling of peace. I'm not stressing out as much. There aren't clumps of hair clogging my drain. My skin isn't breaking out. Someone can do something that would normally make me come unglued. Instead, I shake it off.

I'd love to be able to say that I do that all the time, but the fact is, it usually takes me having a meltdown before I tell God to take over. You'd think I would have learned by now.

Friday, September 21, 2007


Growing up, I was painfully shy. I don't know why. It may just be part of being an introvert. The point is that, although I'm still a little shy, I'm MUCH better than I used to be. I may not be a good conversation starter, but I am a good conversation maintainer. Plus, I've always just enjoyed listening to the conversation. If I have something to contribute, I will. But I won't talk just to talk. I've always liked the Mark Twain quote, "It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt."

Where am I going with this?

As I have gotten older, I have noticed that it seems to be socially acceptable to be rude to shy people. People have no qualms about saying things like "You never talk", "You don't say anything" or "Why are you so quiet?" in an accusing tone of voice. When those comments are directed at me, it flusters me and causes me to retreat even further into my shell. It seems counterproductive. Shy people don't like to be the center of attention.

Once I happened upon that idea, it made me start thinking about why people think it's okay to be so snotty. I do have a theory. First, I think people who talk a lot are uncomfortable around shy people because they don't know what they're thinking. Often people who talk incessantly (these are the most common offenders of said faux pas) are insecure, and they want verbal validation. If one person isn't responding as much as everyone else, they react as though you're mentally critiquing them in your head and are preparing to point out their shortcomings on your blog. (Maybe I am! ha ha!)

However, the reason for this behavior may be even simpler than that. Extroverts don't really "get" introverts. I know because I live with one. It boggles his mind when I'd rather spend Saturday night at home in my pajamas watching movies than going out with a group of 40 to a loud bar or club. I'd rather go on a road trip with just him or a close group of four people than a big group of twenty. And he's one of those people who is bothered by my quietness. It's a wonder he stuck around for a second date. Our first date was a blind date and it was essentially me and three strangers: hubby, his best friend, and his best friend's girlfriend. An introvert's nightmare.

Anyway, if you have shy people in your life, please try not to call them out on it. They know they're shy. It's like telling an octogenarian that they're old. It's rude, and it doesn't accomplish anything.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

stability...or the lack thereof

Maybe I grew up spoiled, but I was raised with an incredible sense of stability. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for that. I think that can definitely be a positive thing; kids need stability.

But what happens when, at age 23, you graduate college, get married, get a job, and you're thrown out of the protective incubator to which you've grown accustomed? You're no longer living with people who have steady jobs, all of their finances in order, and always provide you with a fresh supply of Aggie Bucks; you are living with someone who is just as clueless as you are about the whole "grown-up" thing. It often looks like two drowning people frantically pulling each other under water.

God and I have had a lot of conversations (and by conversations I mean me whining a lot) about how, just when I think I have things figured out, the rug gets pulled out from under me. When you're in your twenties, particularly late twenties, you feel this need to find out who you're supposed to be for the rest of your life. There's this understated pressure to have the next 30 years mapped out.

But when a person who thrives on stability marries an entrepreneur, stability junkie is constantly flipping out. Things change daily - no hourly - no secondly (is that a word?). But God likes to take us out of our comfort zones so that we can grow, so I am pretty sure He planned it this way. He sure does have a sense of humor.

Monday, September 17, 2007

me? a blogger?

I didn't think I was narcissistic enough to be a blogger, but apparently I am (no offense to other bloggers). Actually, I think it has more to do with the fact that there is so much is going on in my life I feel the need to write down my thoughts so I can process everything. That's just my introverted nature I guess. Why I am doing that in front of God and everybody - well - I guess that's my narcissistic side. But hopefully you'll enjoy reading my self-indulgent ramblings anyway.